My beautiful baby girl,
Mommy loves you! I miss you so so so so so much! You know Mommy has been so very busy with your new baby sister, Glory Joy! Her middle name is after you! She looks a little bit like you, but not exactly. When I look at her with a hat on, she reminds me of you. You have similar eyes and mouth and nose. We think you look more like Daddy and Glory looks more like Mommy.. you are both the most beautiful babies I have ever seen! The most beautiful babies in the history of the world and of heaven and earth! I miss you more than ever, Kathlyn. I didn't know I could miss you more, but I do. I miss you as a newborn like your sister. I wish we had a chance to nurse together and wear all your cute clothes and go for walks and that you and Daddy could get to know each other. You are my first baby, yet I didn't get to learn how to do anything with you. I am so sorry baby girl. Mommy tries to remember that you are safe and happy and warm and loved where you are.. you have everything you need, more than Mommy could ever imagine. But it is so hard for me here without you. Remember baby, I don't understand what it's like where you are. I pray all the time that you are ok and not missing out on anything... only Mommy is. And that makes Mommy very sad. But I can still love you with all my heart! And my biggest hope is that you can still feel that love. You are still my baby! Kisses to the sky for you, princess. I love you!
Miss you millions,
Mommy
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
18 months
Baby girl,
Mommy loves you! 18 months feels like a big milestone.. it's your half birthday! I can't possibly spend a minute and a half without you, how a whole year and a half?! Are you a big girl now, a sweet little walking and talking little toddler, or are you my newborn baby forever? I wish I wish I wish you were here. Remember, Mommy doesn't know what it's like where you are, but I know you'll show me some day! I love you!
How different my life would be if you were here Katie-cat. I am about to have your little sister and I know you'd wanna be Mommy's helper but you're still so little, it's hard to be pregnant with a toddler at your feet! You know what though sweetie? It's HARDER without your toddler with you, much harder, and I would trade anything anything anything to be even more tired than I am now because I'm loving on you too and giving you everything you need. I wonder what you'd like to eat, what you'd like to watch, play with, if you'd always wanna take your shoes off or if you'd like your carseat, or baby dolls, pooh bear, puzzles, which books you'd like, which songs you'd know and how long your hair would be. I wish I knew all those things baby doll. It has to be enough to know that you're safe. But I miss you more than I can handle! Mommy loves Kathlyn so much! I'm so sorry you couldn't stay, baby girl. I would have done anything to save you. I'm trying so hard for your sister Glory. I know she'll miss you too, she'll miss having that big sister to be best friends with. We love you princess! You are still my baby.. kisses to the sky for you.. give some to Jesus and Granddaddy and Sissy Cherry for Mommy, ok?
Love you forever,
Mommy
Mommy loves you! 18 months feels like a big milestone.. it's your half birthday! I can't possibly spend a minute and a half without you, how a whole year and a half?! Are you a big girl now, a sweet little walking and talking little toddler, or are you my newborn baby forever? I wish I wish I wish you were here. Remember, Mommy doesn't know what it's like where you are, but I know you'll show me some day! I love you!
How different my life would be if you were here Katie-cat. I am about to have your little sister and I know you'd wanna be Mommy's helper but you're still so little, it's hard to be pregnant with a toddler at your feet! You know what though sweetie? It's HARDER without your toddler with you, much harder, and I would trade anything anything anything to be even more tired than I am now because I'm loving on you too and giving you everything you need. I wonder what you'd like to eat, what you'd like to watch, play with, if you'd always wanna take your shoes off or if you'd like your carseat, or baby dolls, pooh bear, puzzles, which books you'd like, which songs you'd know and how long your hair would be. I wish I knew all those things baby doll. It has to be enough to know that you're safe. But I miss you more than I can handle! Mommy loves Kathlyn so much! I'm so sorry you couldn't stay, baby girl. I would have done anything to save you. I'm trying so hard for your sister Glory. I know she'll miss you too, she'll miss having that big sister to be best friends with. We love you princess! You are still my baby.. kisses to the sky for you.. give some to Jesus and Granddaddy and Sissy Cherry for Mommy, ok?
Love you forever,
Mommy
Thursday, December 30, 2010
17 months
My dear Kathlyn,
I miss you so much.. I'm sorry I didn't write to you on Christmas; I mostly just slept all day to get over missing you for your 2nd Christmas. I cried and cried for you at church on Christmas Eve.. were you there baby girl? Were you with Mommy? I hope you were, but I wish I wish I wish you were on my lap in your sweet Christmas dress and shoes. I still can't believe it baby girl, everything we are missing out doing together. Today is Mommy and Daddy's wedding anniversary.. we will go have a nice dinner just the two of us, but I will still wish you were there. I would much rather have messy pizza with our baby than eat a fancy dinner alone. How could I have survived this long without you baby girl? It's the hardest thing Mommy has ever done. I miss you so much... you are still my baby. Send me something pink today, so I know you're ok. Kisses to the sky for you my angel.
Love you forever,
Mommy
I miss you so much.. I'm sorry I didn't write to you on Christmas; I mostly just slept all day to get over missing you for your 2nd Christmas. I cried and cried for you at church on Christmas Eve.. were you there baby girl? Were you with Mommy? I hope you were, but I wish I wish I wish you were on my lap in your sweet Christmas dress and shoes. I still can't believe it baby girl, everything we are missing out doing together. Today is Mommy and Daddy's wedding anniversary.. we will go have a nice dinner just the two of us, but I will still wish you were there. I would much rather have messy pizza with our baby than eat a fancy dinner alone. How could I have survived this long without you baby girl? It's the hardest thing Mommy has ever done. I miss you so much... you are still my baby. Send me something pink today, so I know you're ok. Kisses to the sky for you my angel.
Love you forever,
Mommy
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
16 months
My little joy,
Mommy is so sorry I've gone a whole month without writing! It doesn't matter though, you know I think of you every minute.. and I talk to you too! Can you hear me, sweet princess? I love you so much! Mommy was so sad for you on Thanksgiving. It would have been your 2nd Thanksgiving and we would have taken you to visit Daddy's side of the family. You would have been the most beautiful girl in the room and the center of attention! Well, really you are the most beautiful girl in every room! I know you are the brightest sunshine, the freshest rain, the whitest snow and the coolest breeze. I imagined that you might have been frightened by so many new people, and you would have clung to Mommy so tight! I would have loved that, Kathlyn... my little baby girl hugs... how I miss them! And how I love you! You are still my baby, my toddler, my daughter, my everything. Kisses for Jesus and Granddaddy and Sissy for me, ok princess?
Love you forever,
Mommy
Mommy is so sorry I've gone a whole month without writing! It doesn't matter though, you know I think of you every minute.. and I talk to you too! Can you hear me, sweet princess? I love you so much! Mommy was so sad for you on Thanksgiving. It would have been your 2nd Thanksgiving and we would have taken you to visit Daddy's side of the family. You would have been the most beautiful girl in the room and the center of attention! Well, really you are the most beautiful girl in every room! I know you are the brightest sunshine, the freshest rain, the whitest snow and the coolest breeze. I imagined that you might have been frightened by so many new people, and you would have clung to Mommy so tight! I would have loved that, Kathlyn... my little baby girl hugs... how I miss them! And how I love you! You are still my baby, my toddler, my daughter, my everything. Kisses for Jesus and Granddaddy and Sissy for me, ok princess?
Love you forever,
Mommy
Saturday, October 30, 2010
15 months
Kathlyn,
I love you! I miss you so much. Today you would be 15 months old. Is that how old you are, or are you Mommy's newborn baby forever? I would like to think that you're growing up and that Granddaddy and Jesus are teaching you so many things. My baby girl, how I wish it was Daddy and me who got to teach you. But I know you are safe where you are. I just miss you so much. Tomorrow would have been your 2nd Halloween and much more fun than last year. Last year you would have been too little to go out in the cold. I would have still dressed you up though and taken a million pictures! Because you're the cutest baby in the history of the world! This year you would be able to walk to a few houses and get some lollipops that I would let you eat. But Mommy would still worry and watch you so carefully! I would have dressed you as a puppy or a fairy or a ladybug or a bee or maybe even an angel..
I love you so much Princess... you are still my baby!
Love you forever,
Mommy
I love you! I miss you so much. Today you would be 15 months old. Is that how old you are, or are you Mommy's newborn baby forever? I would like to think that you're growing up and that Granddaddy and Jesus are teaching you so many things. My baby girl, how I wish it was Daddy and me who got to teach you. But I know you are safe where you are. I just miss you so much. Tomorrow would have been your 2nd Halloween and much more fun than last year. Last year you would have been too little to go out in the cold. I would have still dressed you up though and taken a million pictures! Because you're the cutest baby in the history of the world! This year you would be able to walk to a few houses and get some lollipops that I would let you eat. But Mommy would still worry and watch you so carefully! I would have dressed you as a puppy or a fairy or a ladybug or a bee or maybe even an angel..
I love you so much Princess... you are still my baby!
Love you forever,
Mommy
Friday, October 15, 2010
A day to remember the babies
Katie-Cat,
Just wanted to send you kisses. MUAH! Look down at the earth today.. there will be a wave of light going all around the world. It's all for you, baby doll! I hope you can see Mommy's especially. Show Sissy too. Love you forever! You are still my baby.
Always,
Mommy
Just wanted to send you kisses. MUAH! Look down at the earth today.. there will be a wave of light going all around the world. It's all for you, baby doll! I hope you can see Mommy's especially. Show Sissy too. Love you forever! You are still my baby.
Always,
Mommy
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
missing my toddler
Dear Kathlyn,
My heart was heavier than usual last night. Mommy loves you and misses you so much! I think I used to get so sad looking at newborn babies, but now I get sad when I see sweet little toddlers your age. I see mommies at the hospital at work crying for their sick and hurt toddlers, and I cry for you. I'm so glad that you never felt pain and never will, but I would have gotten you through it like all mommies do. I wish you were here with Daddy and me toddling through the pumpkin patch. I bet you would say "ball!" to the pumpkins like most toddlers do! I would have worried that you would fall and bump your head on the platforms the pumpkins were sitting on. Mommy worries about everything! Silly Mommy! Do you get to see pumpkins and pretty fall leaves and drink hot chocolate and eat candy in the fall like we do here? Do you have everything you want and need? Does Granddaddy walk through the pumpkins with you? I hope he does. He missed out on his grandbabies too. He just has you! What a wonderful beautiful grandchild to know! I try to remind myself, Princess, that where you two are, you don't "miss out" on anything. It's just Mommy and Daddy who are sad without you. What a lonely place - every place without Kathlyn is lonely. I lived my whole life before without you, and now I don't know how to live the rest of it that way. I love you so much, baby girl! SO MUCH! I want to hold you and hug you so badly, my arms are still aching. I can trick my arms for a few minutes by holding babies at work, and it warms me up and makes me feel comfort. Are you there, baby? Are you there with Mommy and those other babies? I bet you can tell I'm thinking of you the whole time. My arms are tricked and calmed, but my heart knows, I will never hold you again until I'm up in the sky with you. That is such a heartbreaking sad, the kind of sad I hope that you can't even understand because you've never felt it. Can you feel how much I love you, babygirl? Do you know me, at least a little bit about me? I hope so my little doll. Send Mommy something pink so I know you are safe. You are still my baby! Kisses and hugs to the sky for you, and some extras to share with Sissy and Granddad. I love you, Princess.
Miss you forever,
Mommy
My heart was heavier than usual last night. Mommy loves you and misses you so much! I think I used to get so sad looking at newborn babies, but now I get sad when I see sweet little toddlers your age. I see mommies at the hospital at work crying for their sick and hurt toddlers, and I cry for you. I'm so glad that you never felt pain and never will, but I would have gotten you through it like all mommies do. I wish you were here with Daddy and me toddling through the pumpkin patch. I bet you would say "ball!" to the pumpkins like most toddlers do! I would have worried that you would fall and bump your head on the platforms the pumpkins were sitting on. Mommy worries about everything! Silly Mommy! Do you get to see pumpkins and pretty fall leaves and drink hot chocolate and eat candy in the fall like we do here? Do you have everything you want and need? Does Granddaddy walk through the pumpkins with you? I hope he does. He missed out on his grandbabies too. He just has you! What a wonderful beautiful grandchild to know! I try to remind myself, Princess, that where you two are, you don't "miss out" on anything. It's just Mommy and Daddy who are sad without you. What a lonely place - every place without Kathlyn is lonely. I lived my whole life before without you, and now I don't know how to live the rest of it that way. I love you so much, baby girl! SO MUCH! I want to hold you and hug you so badly, my arms are still aching. I can trick my arms for a few minutes by holding babies at work, and it warms me up and makes me feel comfort. Are you there, baby? Are you there with Mommy and those other babies? I bet you can tell I'm thinking of you the whole time. My arms are tricked and calmed, but my heart knows, I will never hold you again until I'm up in the sky with you. That is such a heartbreaking sad, the kind of sad I hope that you can't even understand because you've never felt it. Can you feel how much I love you, babygirl? Do you know me, at least a little bit about me? I hope so my little doll. Send Mommy something pink so I know you are safe. You are still my baby! Kisses and hugs to the sky for you, and some extras to share with Sissy and Granddad. I love you, Princess.
Miss you forever,
Mommy
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