Friday, July 30, 2010

12 months

Hi princess!
Today is your birthday! Oh baby girl, how Mommy wishes so much that you were here. Watch closely today my darling.. lots of people are coming over to give Mommy and Daddy big hugs and to miss you with us today. We love you so much baby girl. I will show you all the pictures after the party. Get some of your angel babies (the ones who's Mommies are Mommy's friends!) to help you catch your balloons. Love you so much, you are still my baby.

Talk to you later!
Mommy

Thursday, July 29, 2010

the day before

Hi my princess,
On this day last year you were still safe in Mommy's belly. Do you remember baby girl? I hope you do. I hope you remember and still feel all the love I had and still have for you. Tomorrow is your birthday. Are you a one year old toddler now Katie-cat, or are you a newborn baby forever? I wish I understood what it was like where you are. I know you are safe and happy and loved, but I still wish you were here because I would have given you those things too. What happened baby girl? Do you know? Did you know it was coming? I hope you didn't suffer and weren't scared. I hope that one second you were safe and warm inside Mommy and the next second you were safe and warm in the arms of Jesus. I miss you so much, beautiful girl. I will write to you again tomorrow. You are still my baby.

Love you forever,
Mommy

Friday, July 23, 2010

Hi babygirl,
Miss you so much! I have been planning lots of nice things for your birthday in a week... can't wait to show you everything! Kisses to the sky for you, for Sissy, for Granddaddy.. you are still my baby!

Love you forever,
Mama

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Baby's first 4th of July

Hi baby,
This is the last of your "first holidays". It would be your first 4th of July. I bet your favorite holiday would be 4th of July since it is in your birth month. That is why Mommy's favorite holiday was Easter, since it was usually in April like my birthday. Would you be afraid of fireworks, baby? Maybe not this year... maybe this year you would be mesmerized by the lights. Maybe you'd even fall asleep in Mommy's arms because we kept you up so late. Silly baby, you can sleep through anything! I bet next year, at almost 2, you would be terrified out of your mind! Poor Kathlyn. But Mommy doesn't have to worry about that, because I know you're never terrified or scared or sad or lonely where you are.

This is the sweet dress Mommy bought for you. I wish I wish I wish you could wear it today. Mommy was silly and bought the same shirts for Daddy and the puppies. They had one for a baby girl too. I wish I could have bought that one. I miss you, sweetheart. You are still my baby.

Love you forever,
Mommy


Wednesday, June 30, 2010

11 months

Hi Kitty Cat!
I have been missing you for 11 months. Mommy is so extra sad because after this, it will be more than a year. How could I possibly have been without you for a whole year? I don't even want to spend a minute without you, but a whole entire year! I love you so much Katie. Can you come back for your birthday? Is that allowed? Mommy knows it's not. But I wish I wish I wish. Send me lots of pink this month so I have lots of things to show to all your memorial birthday guests.
It's so hot here where Mommy and Daddy are. I wish I could take you to the pool and pick out a sweet little bathing suit for you. I wish I could put hairbows and sundresses on you.. you would be the cutest little girl there ever was in the history of the universe! That's right, YOU! What a lucky Mommy I am to have such a beautiful girl, but so unlucky that I didn't get to raise you. I know you are safe where you are, though. Do you get to dress up with hairbows and dresses where you are? Remember, Mommy has lots of questions, baby girl. There is no question about how much I love you though, forever and ever. Kisses to the sky princess, just for you, and a few extras for Sissy. You are still my baby.

Love you forever,
Mommy

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day

Hi Baby,
Please give your Granddaddy kisses today... one from you, one from me, and one from Gram. And I hope you send something special to Daddy today so he knows you're ok. Miss you more than the whole world, Katie-cat... yes I do, I miss your kisses, giggles tickles, and your sweet face. You are still my baby.

Love you forever,
Mommy

Sunday, May 30, 2010

10 months

Oh Kathlyn,
We are so close to your birthday now. I just can't believe it. On one hand, it seems like you've been gone for years, and on the other, it seems like last week. Time doesn't make sense to me anymore baby.. time is just defined as "without you" and it doesn't matter how long it's been. Time without you hurts Mommy's heart so very much.

I took out one of your paci's... I don't really know why... and put it on the end table. Now every time I walk by, I think "oh, so that's what it looks like to have baby stuff around the house!" I have one of your paci's in my car too baby, so I don't know why this one is catching my attention so much, since I see the one in the car every day. It makes me want to ask Daddy to put your carseat back in there, to keep the door to your room open, to put your swing and bouncy seat in the living room, and your bottles in the dishwasher. A beautiful baby belongs here, safe in this house, but she's somewhere else. Still safe, still my baby, but somewhere else. Somewhere her Mommy and Daddy are not, and so sad without her.

Kisses to the sky for you and Sissy, today and every day.

Love you forever,
Mommy