Sunday, May 30, 2010

10 months

Oh Kathlyn,
We are so close to your birthday now. I just can't believe it. On one hand, it seems like you've been gone for years, and on the other, it seems like last week. Time doesn't make sense to me anymore baby.. time is just defined as "without you" and it doesn't matter how long it's been. Time without you hurts Mommy's heart so very much.

I took out one of your paci's... I don't really know why... and put it on the end table. Now every time I walk by, I think "oh, so that's what it looks like to have baby stuff around the house!" I have one of your paci's in my car too baby, so I don't know why this one is catching my attention so much, since I see the one in the car every day. It makes me want to ask Daddy to put your carseat back in there, to keep the door to your room open, to put your swing and bouncy seat in the living room, and your bottles in the dishwasher. A beautiful baby belongs here, safe in this house, but she's somewhere else. Still safe, still my baby, but somewhere else. Somewhere her Mommy and Daddy are not, and so sad without her.

Kisses to the sky for you and Sissy, today and every day.

Love you forever,

1 comment:

  1. *HUGS*
    i wish i could do something, say something, anything...but i can't and we are left with this sadness that our babies are somewhere else.