Baby's First Halloween

Hi Katie!
Today is your official first holiday.. Halloween! If you were here with Mommy (oh how I wish I wish I wish you were my baby), I would have dressed you up like a little duckie! Duckie's say, quack quack! I can imagine you being a little older and learning your animal sounds. How cute you would have been, making little quacking sounds.. my sweet little beautiful duckling. This duckie outfit belonged to one of your little friends! Can you guess which one Kathlyn? Little Baby Lauren! Her mommy gave it to me, for you, at my baby shower. So cute! Mommy was sooo excited! I hope where you are, you can play dress up whenever you want with Granddaddy and all the little baby angels that you've met. You don't have to wait for Halloween... you can play whenever you want, yes you can! I bet you love to dress as the little princess that you really are. And the candy! I bet the candy where you are is just everywhere and so yummy for my little baby. Granddaddy sure loves orange slices, doesnt he baby girl! Those were his favorite! He never liked chocolate.. that was all for Mommy and Gram. I wonder which one you would have liked. Daddy doesnt really like chocolate either. He will eat it (Granddaddy would never touch it!) but Daddy's real favorite is starburst and gummy bears and skittles. Silly Daddy! He loves the sweet stuff! And you too! He loves his sweet little baby girl. We miss you so much, little angel. We love you! Remember for always and always and always Katie, you are still my baby. Peek-a-BOO! Happy First Halloween, my little duck.

Love you forever,
Mommy

3 months

Hi Sweetheart!
Today is your 3 month birthday! You are such a big girl! I have to ask you again baby girl, maybe someday Mommy will get an answer or a sign.. are you really 3 months old now, or are you a newborn baby forever? Maybe you are a newborn baby waiting for Mommy just the way you left us.. but maybe you are growing and becoming even more beautiful with Granddaddy and Jesus. Which one is it my love?? I just wish I understood better about what it's like where you are. I know it's a wonderful place since you're there, the most beautiful little baby angel anyone has ever seen. You are my precious little girl! I am imagining what you'd be doing today as a 3 month old. You would have hit so many milestones.. Mommy would be so proud of her beautiful little princess! I bet you'd be smiling so big all the time now.. what a gorgeous smile you must have.. a smile that lights up the room. Everyone would smile when Kathlyn smiles.. who could resist that beautiful baby face?! I love that face!! I wanna kiss it! And I bet you'd be holding your head up some now.. Mommy's big strong healthy girl. And I bet you'd have an interest in all your toys and bright colors and you'd be watching intently at everything in the room and grasping on to everything and anything your sweet little fingers could reach. Oh I miss my little Kathlyn, and each and every little thing you'd be doing. Mommy loves you! Send me something pink today, sweetheart, and every day. It warms my heart when I feel you near. You are still my baby!

Love you forever,
Mommy

Hi baby!
I miss you! Sending lots of kisses and tickles to the sky for you! Thank you for sending me that purple paci last week Kathlyn.. you clever little stinker! Mommy asked you for pink and you showed Mommy that you know how to send purple too! Mommy forgot that purple was for baby girls too.. AND Mommy forgot that YOU are the boss! My baby Katie is in charge.. silly baby! Mommy loves you! You go ahead and send me whatever you wanna send me, that's right baby girl, whatever you want, and Mommy will love it. Because I love YOU! Kisses for you! You are just the sweetest little baby Mommy has ever seen! Were you there with me at work last week too Kathlyn? Did you help me when I made that little baby stop crying? I felt like you were there, yes I did my baby, yes I did, so thank you for coming to see me. Another big kiss for you, kiss kiss kiss on those pretty little baby cheeks. I wish it was you with me instead of that other baby, having a bottle and just being a sweet little baby, doing simple sweet little baby things. But instead you are Mommy's special angel baby. I'm sorry that you have to see me crying so much for you baby.. I'm just not used to you being an angel instead of being here with me and being a regular baby. I love you anyway though! Mommy loves you SO MUCH! I hope God tells you all about that, I ask Him to alllll the time Kathlyn. I ask Him to tell Kathlyn that I love her.. that's YOU! Mommy's pretty little baby Kathlyn. I just can't stop thinking about kissing you! You're so pretty, Mommy can't resist! Kiss kiss kiss! I hope you can feel my kisses! They are so full of the love I have for you.

Were you there today too Kathlyn, when I was making Kylie laugh? I bet it was YOU making her laugh so Mommy could have a little smile hearing that sweet baby laugh.. what a wonderful sound. I wonder if you would be laughing yet if you were here. I bet you laugh all the time where you are... you laugh at Granddaddy, he's so funny! Yes he is, Granddaddy's so funny and silly and he loves you so much too. And I bet you laugh with Jesus because He is just the most wonderful person that ever lived and He loves you too.. how special you are, that you got to meet Him already. Mommy is so selfish though, Mommy wishes you were here! Because I just love you so much! Are you here with me, kissing me back, baby girl? Are you laughing with Kylie for me, so I can hear you? Maybe you are crying when she's crying so I can hear that too. I wanted to hear you cry.. I bet you had the sweetest little baby cry.. you were just so sweet all around! Mommy loves you! Remember baby girl, Mommy doesn't understand what it's like where you are. You know more than Mommy already even though you are just a baby! Are you still a newborn, or are you 12 weeks old now? What a big girl you are becoming, if that's true! Mommy's beautiful, special little baby always. I hope you are feeling so wonderful and safe where you are. But I hope you are coming to see me whenever you can. And I hope that you can feel all the kisses and hugs and love I have for you, yes I do, yes I do, all the love I have for you, because you are still my baby! And I miss you and hurt for you more than I hope you understand, because it is only happiness where you are and no hurting. I love you, Katie! One more special kiss.. a real big one this time! Wait for me Kathlyn, I can't wait to kiss you in person again!


Love you forever and ever,
Mommy

Kathlyn, we miss you. We would have had so much fun, you, me, and Daddy. Kisses for you, you are still my baby.

Love you forever,
Mommy

A song for you, Kathlyn. You are still my baby.
Love you forever,
Mommy

Glory baby.. you slipped away as fast as we could say baby... baby.
You were growing, what happened dear,
You disappeared on us baby… baby.
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you
Until we’re home with you.

But we miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a day
when we will hold you
We will hold you
And you’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
‘til Mom and Dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do.


Sweet little babies, it’s hard to
understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would..
Just like He said He would…


I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies
and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing,
Heaven is your home,
And it’s all you’ll ever know,
all you'll ever know.

Hi Katie!

Even though Daddy and I did so many nice things to honor you on our trip, I have missed writing to you! Again my sweet baby girl, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to write to you on the 30th. But that day we wrote your name in the sand! See?! Isn't it so pretty by the ocean? I bet it is so many millions of times prettier up where you are!






Here is a nice picture of Mommy and Daddy for you, too! What a beautiful view we had from our room! Daddy has the little pink puppy that we carry around to remember you, right in his pocket!! We sent the same bigger puppy with you to heaven, and also the puppy outfit to match. Do you have those with you baby girl? Remember, Mommy doesn't understand what it's like where you are. But those were our special presents for you to take with you as an angel.. the prettiest little angel ever! I hope you get a chance to play with that cute little puppy, and that Granddaddy gets to put you in the puppy outfit that we sent with you. The mini puppy reminds us so much of you! Mommy picked out that puppy outfit for you while you were in my belly, and Daddy picked out the puppy! They match so perfectly! And how sweet that Daddy has the puppy in his pocket, just like the tiniest little puppy that goes in your outfit pocket too! I wish so much that I got a chance to dress you in that sweet little outfit. I wish I wish I wish. That one was Mommy's favorite!






Mommy misses you! We had a very peaceful trip but we wished the whole time that you were with us. I bet you would love to swim and splash around in the water and look at the fishies with us. I miss my baby girl! No matter how beautiful the ocean or how cool the breeze or how much special alone time with Daddy, nothing compares to how much I love YOU! My special angel baby forever, I love Kathlyn! Kisses to the sky for you, kisses kisses kisses for my little darling. Can you send me some more pink things? I love seeing anything pink because it reminds me of you. I did see that pink dragonfly by that pond on the island, Katie! Did you send her for me?! I noticed all the other dragonflies were red but just that one flying around was pink. I have NEVER seen a pink dragonfly before! I know the angel Lauren sends her Mommy Donna a blue dragonfly at her graveside, it reminds her of Lauren's bright blue eyes. Miss Donna tells me that she thinks Lauren is teaching you how to be a special angel for Mommy. Maybe she is right! And that means you sent me that pretty pink dragonfly! I hope that was you Kathlyn, I hope I hope I hope. Because I love you and I would love if you were sending me things.. you are still my baby!

Love you forever,
Mommy