Still my baby

Hi my baby,
I miss you so much! I usually don't know what to do when I miss you, which is always. There is another mommy who's baby is another little angel, who writes beautiful letters to him when she feels sad. Actually, she writes to him all the time, no matter how she's feeling! I thought this might be good for Mommy. I want to talk to you so bad, my little sweetie. I have so many questions for you. I'm so sorry you didn't get to stay with me baby. I wanted you, and Daddy did too, and Gram, and Uncle Brian and Uncle Tim, and Aunt Heather, and Grandma and Grandpa D and all your cousins too. You have six cousins! They are mostly boys, twin boys actually! But there is only 1 other girl, your cousin Sydney! The twins are named Reed and Christian, and Will and Aaron, and there is also baby Sawyer. We also have two doggies.. Mommy calls them the "pupsies" sometimes. We have lots of nicknames for them Katie, but their names are Deputy and Pepper. I bet Granddaddy told you all about them already. Or maybe you knew all about them as soon as you got to heaven. My little star, twinkle twinkle little star (Mommy wishes she could sing to you baby!), how I wonder what heaven is like for you. Did you meet Jesus first or Granddaddy? I bet it was Jesus, but I bet Granddaddy wanted Him to hurry up so he could get his hands on you so fast! Granddaddy loves you so much too, I bet I don't have to tell you that Kathlyn. He was a wonderful, wonderful Daddy to me and Uncle Brian and Uncle Tim. He was kind and gentle, and funny, and passionate and loving. I bet his mustache tickles you when you get kisses, does it baby girl? I bet it does. Mommy loves you so much, I wish I could give you kisses too. I wanna kiss your face and your hands and your belly and your stinky little feet and your whole body! Can you feel that baby girl? Can you? I hope you can, I hope, I hope. Your little feet were so cute and so long! So long like Daddy's. Daddy has monkey toes and so do you Katie! They were sweet little toes, I love them. I loved all of you my baby, yes I did. I am so sad you are not here with me, I miss you so much, so much. I am just going to pour it all out onto you somehow, the only way I can right now. There is so much Mommy doesn't understand. I bet you know more than Mommy already and you are only 3 weeks old! Are you baby, are you 3 weeks old now? Or are you a newborn forever? Part of me hopes you get to grow and be with your Granddaddy (he will take care of you now, don't worry baby, since Mommy and Daddy aren't there, Granddaddy will keep you warm and safe with God. Really I guess God is taking care of you forever, God and Jesus.. but I don't understand how it is baby. Maybe you can tell me someday. But I bet God and Jesus have lots of people to take care of, but Granddaddy, he is ALL YOURS!). But also part of me wants you to stay a baby until I get there so I can take care of you and watch you grow. I don't know when I will be there, my sweet baby. Right now I have to stay here with Daddy and someday we're gonna have a sister or a brother for you. But you are still my baby. Still our baby, Kathlyn forever and ever. We love you so much! Kisses and tickles to you baby! I am so sad without you, but I will try to stay happy for you. That's what Daddy and Gram say to me (and lots of people!), that you'd want me to be happy. So I will try. It's all for you my baby, my Katie. You are still my baby!
Love you and miss you forever,
Mommy