4 months

Hi Princess!
I love you! Today you would be 4 months old.. what a big girl, you are growing so fast! Are you a newborn baby still, or are you 4 months old now? Mommy has so many questions! Remember, I don't understand what it's like where you are.. you will teach me all about it someday. What a big job for a little baby, teaching her mommy everything she knows! I wish I could take care of you, but you will take care of me instead. Mommy is so sad.. but I will be ok with it sometime baby girl, try not to worry. Mommy hopes you don't ever have to worry where you are. Or ever have to cry either. How many people get to go through life on earth and never ever cry?? That was you, my precious angel. I wish you were here with me.. and when you would cry, I would take care of you and get you through it and try to make it better. But now I can only hope you never have to feel sad or scared like I do.. I will cry enough for the both of us, my darling little heart.
I haven't written to you in a few weeks, I'm sorry baby. You know I think of you every day anyway.. every minute even! I knew I would write to you today, as I will always write on the 30th of each month, your special day. Except for February! February only has 28 or 29 days.. so I will have to write to you on the first of March instead!
You must have known that I would write to you today.. and you decided to write to me first! When I looked at my receipt from my breakfast at work this morning, I saw your name at the top! It said Katie! Usually I throw my receipt away right away at the trash by the register.. how did you know baby, how did you know I wouldn't throw it away today?? And that I would see your name! I was so happy to see your name, especially on your special 4 month birthday. You are amazing, Kathlyn. You do so many special things for me. You knew I would love to see that today. I felt like you were saying "Hi Mommy!" I love you too, princess. You are still my baby! Miss you all the way to the sky a million times.

Love you forever,
Mommy

Hi sweetie,
I miss you so so much Kathlyn. Did you see that little baby I was taking care of at work? She was just your age! She was already holding up her head so strong, looking all around the room at everything, and she could even stand when her mommy held her up! WOW! My precious little Katie would be such a big strong girl already, yes you would! You would be kicking your little feet and smiling at Mommy when I give you belly kisses and tickles. How I long for that Kathlyn. I wonder so much what you would look like and what you'd be doing. I miss you baby, I miss you. It's a sad, difficult feeling that I can only hope that you've never, ever had to feel. I always remind you my sweet princess, that I don't understand what it's like where you are. I don't understand because I believe that you miss Daddy and me, and Gram, and Grandpa and Grandma D, and all your aunts and uncles and cousins and all of Mommy's and Daddy's friends who would have loved you so much. If you miss us, is that a sad feeling for you? I don't want you to be sad. I am sad enough for all of us. I know you don't want me to be sad, but I can't help it my darling. I want you here with me. You are my precious little baby and I love you with all my heart. It is so sunny and warm here today even though it's winter. And I wish you were here with me so we could enjoy the sunshine together. But that is another thing I can hope for.. that ALL the days for you and Granddaddy are uncloudy. And that when you miss us, it doesn't hurt. And that you're never sick with disease and suffering like that little baby I was taking care of at work. That is my wish and my hope for you, sweetheart. I would rather you were here with me... and I would get you through the hard times and the sickness... take away the pain when I could. But Mommy doesn't have a choice. Mommy doesn't always get what she wants. So that is my wish for my beautiful, perfect baby daughter, my angel baby forever. My princess Katie, you are still my baby, forever and ever. Kisses to the sunny sky for you. Send me something pink again soon, it warms my heart to think that you are with me.

Love you forever,
Mommy

what else is there?

Hi Princess!
I just wanted to tell you that I love you. That is all, my sweet angel... that I love you and that I miss you. You are still my baby.

Love you forever,
Mommy