Kathlyn,
I love you so much baby girl. I'm sorry I didn't get to tell you about your birthday yet. Mommy is just holding on and doesn't want it to be over. Your birthday doesn't really matter to me anyway - you are the most special thing in my life no matter what day it is. I think about you every single day and every single minute. You are still my baby. My first baby, forever, and nothing can change that. I will always tell people about you and how special you are, how beautiful you are, how much Mommy wanted you, even if it breaks my heart to speak of you without being able to hold you. I love you so much baby. My life has changed so much. It will never be the same without my baby girl. I'm so sorry I didn't get to tell you that in person. I'm so sorry you never got to feel my kisses from the outside. I will just hold on to the hope that you never ever feel the agonizing pain I'm feeling without you.
Can't wait to see you again, Princess. I will grab you and never let go. Maybe holding you for eternity will make up for not holding you for a lifetime.
Love you forever,
Mommy
Monday, August 30, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
12 months
Hi princess!
Today is your birthday! Oh baby girl, how Mommy wishes so much that you were here. Watch closely today my darling.. lots of people are coming over to give Mommy and Daddy big hugs and to miss you with us today. We love you so much baby girl. I will show you all the pictures after the party. Get some of your angel babies (the ones who's Mommies are Mommy's friends!) to help you catch your balloons. Love you so much, you are still my baby.
Talk to you later!
Mommy
Today is your birthday! Oh baby girl, how Mommy wishes so much that you were here. Watch closely today my darling.. lots of people are coming over to give Mommy and Daddy big hugs and to miss you with us today. We love you so much baby girl. I will show you all the pictures after the party. Get some of your angel babies (the ones who's Mommies are Mommy's friends!) to help you catch your balloons. Love you so much, you are still my baby.
Talk to you later!
Mommy
Thursday, July 29, 2010
the day before
Hi my princess,
On this day last year you were still safe in Mommy's belly. Do you remember baby girl? I hope you do. I hope you remember and still feel all the love I had and still have for you. Tomorrow is your birthday. Are you a one year old toddler now Katie-cat, or are you a newborn baby forever? I wish I understood what it was like where you are. I know you are safe and happy and loved, but I still wish you were here because I would have given you those things too. What happened baby girl? Do you know? Did you know it was coming? I hope you didn't suffer and weren't scared. I hope that one second you were safe and warm inside Mommy and the next second you were safe and warm in the arms of Jesus. I miss you so much, beautiful girl. I will write to you again tomorrow. You are still my baby.
Love you forever,
Mommy
On this day last year you were still safe in Mommy's belly. Do you remember baby girl? I hope you do. I hope you remember and still feel all the love I had and still have for you. Tomorrow is your birthday. Are you a one year old toddler now Katie-cat, or are you a newborn baby forever? I wish I understood what it was like where you are. I know you are safe and happy and loved, but I still wish you were here because I would have given you those things too. What happened baby girl? Do you know? Did you know it was coming? I hope you didn't suffer and weren't scared. I hope that one second you were safe and warm inside Mommy and the next second you were safe and warm in the arms of Jesus. I miss you so much, beautiful girl. I will write to you again tomorrow. You are still my baby.
Love you forever,
Mommy
Friday, July 23, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Baby's first 4th of July
Hi baby,
This is the last of your "first holidays". It would be your first 4th of July. I bet your favorite holiday would be 4th of July since it is in your birth month. That is why Mommy's favorite holiday was Easter, since it was usually in April like my birthday. Would you be afraid of fireworks, baby? Maybe not this year... maybe this year you would be mesmerized by the lights. Maybe you'd even fall asleep in Mommy's arms because we kept you up so late. Silly baby, you can sleep through anything! I bet next year, at almost 2, you would be terrified out of your mind! Poor Kathlyn. But Mommy doesn't have to worry about that, because I know you're never terrified or scared or sad or lonely where you are.
This is the sweet dress Mommy bought for you. I wish I wish I wish you could wear it today. Mommy was silly and bought the same shirts for Daddy and the puppies. They had one for a baby girl too. I wish I could have bought that one. I miss you, sweetheart. You are still my baby.
Love you forever,
Mommy
This is the last of your "first holidays". It would be your first 4th of July. I bet your favorite holiday would be 4th of July since it is in your birth month. That is why Mommy's favorite holiday was Easter, since it was usually in April like my birthday. Would you be afraid of fireworks, baby? Maybe not this year... maybe this year you would be mesmerized by the lights. Maybe you'd even fall asleep in Mommy's arms because we kept you up so late. Silly baby, you can sleep through anything! I bet next year, at almost 2, you would be terrified out of your mind! Poor Kathlyn. But Mommy doesn't have to worry about that, because I know you're never terrified or scared or sad or lonely where you are.
This is the sweet dress Mommy bought for you. I wish I wish I wish you could wear it today. Mommy was silly and bought the same shirts for Daddy and the puppies. They had one for a baby girl too. I wish I could have bought that one. I miss you, sweetheart. You are still my baby.
Love you forever,
Mommy
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
11 months
Hi Kitty Cat!
I have been missing you for 11 months. Mommy is so extra sad because after this, it will be more than a year. How could I possibly have been without you for a whole year? I don't even want to spend a minute without you, but a whole entire year! I love you so much Katie. Can you come back for your birthday? Is that allowed? Mommy knows it's not. But I wish I wish I wish. Send me lots of pink this month so I have lots of things to show to all your memorial birthday guests.
It's so hot here where Mommy and Daddy are. I wish I could take you to the pool and pick out a sweet little bathing suit for you. I wish I could put hairbows and sundresses on you.. you would be the cutest little girl there ever was in the history of the universe! That's right, YOU! What a lucky Mommy I am to have such a beautiful girl, but so unlucky that I didn't get to raise you. I know you are safe where you are, though. Do you get to dress up with hairbows and dresses where you are? Remember, Mommy has lots of questions, baby girl. There is no question about how much I love you though, forever and ever. Kisses to the sky princess, just for you, and a few extras for Sissy. You are still my baby.
Love you forever,
Mommy
I have been missing you for 11 months. Mommy is so extra sad because after this, it will be more than a year. How could I possibly have been without you for a whole year? I don't even want to spend a minute without you, but a whole entire year! I love you so much Katie. Can you come back for your birthday? Is that allowed? Mommy knows it's not. But I wish I wish I wish. Send me lots of pink this month so I have lots of things to show to all your memorial birthday guests.
It's so hot here where Mommy and Daddy are. I wish I could take you to the pool and pick out a sweet little bathing suit for you. I wish I could put hairbows and sundresses on you.. you would be the cutest little girl there ever was in the history of the universe! That's right, YOU! What a lucky Mommy I am to have such a beautiful girl, but so unlucky that I didn't get to raise you. I know you are safe where you are, though. Do you get to dress up with hairbows and dresses where you are? Remember, Mommy has lots of questions, baby girl. There is no question about how much I love you though, forever and ever. Kisses to the sky princess, just for you, and a few extras for Sissy. You are still my baby.
Love you forever,
Mommy
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Father's Day
Hi Baby,
Please give your Granddaddy kisses today... one from you, one from me, and one from Gram. And I hope you send something special to Daddy today so he knows you're ok. Miss you more than the whole world, Katie-cat... yes I do, I miss your kisses, giggles tickles, and your sweet face. You are still my baby.
Love you forever,
Mommy
Please give your Granddaddy kisses today... one from you, one from me, and one from Gram. And I hope you send something special to Daddy today so he knows you're ok. Miss you more than the whole world, Katie-cat... yes I do, I miss your kisses, giggles tickles, and your sweet face. You are still my baby.
Love you forever,
Mommy
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