2 years

Sweet sweet birthday to you Kathlyn!! MOMMY LOVES YOU!!!

I miss you so much baby. Today you would have turned 2 years old. Are you two years old now in heaven, or are you Mommy's newborn baby forever? I look at your sweet newborn photos every day. You are so beautiful! I wonder if that's what you'll still look like when I get to see you again, or if you are growing into a beautiful toddler, little girl, teenager, and woman. Oh how I wish I wish I wish you were doing that growing here on earth with me and Daddy and baby sister. Yes there are hard times here on earth, but we'd get through them together and the wonderful times, like birthdays and celebrations, would make it worth it. I miss you so much baby. So so so so sososooooooooososososososososososoooooooooossssssssssooooo much!!!

We decided to do CUPCAKES as the theme to your birthday! Did you see all those cupcakes? Sister wore all cupcakes and ice cream all week for you (and we have more for her to wear still!) We broke a cupcake pinata and had ice cream bubbles and cupcakes plates and napkins! It was all pink and girlie... just like my baby girl would have loved. I wonder if you were here, what kind of party you would have wanted. Mommy would have let you pick whatever you wanted. I also saw a size 2T cupcake pink dress and a matching one for Glory. I wanted to buy it so badly for you, for your sweet birthday dress. I would give anything to have you here my love. It's just not right that you are gone.

We sent you some pink, purple and white balloons! I hope you caught them! And we also sent one more pink one up right at 6:28 when you were born.

Love you forever my sweet. You are still my baby. Kisses to the sky every day for you. Sleep tight and wait for us.

Miss you so much,
Mommy

Hi babygirl!
Mommy just wanted you to know that we sent out all the invitations to your birthday. We still haven't picked out the theme for the party, but I think it will be pink puppies! I have to ask Daddy what he thinks! I wish you were here to help us pick it out. We missed you on the 4th of July, too. Baby sister wore a few of your things, and it made me miss you even more. I love you so much my sweet daughter. You are still my baby!

Love you forever,
Mommy

23 months

Dearest Kathlyn,
Hi babygirl! Mommy is so sorry she didn't write to you at 22 months. You know it doesn't mean I don't love you, or that I forgot the 30th that month. You know I think of you every day and every minute, I just didn't get a chance to write that day. Mommy will always, always love you, and always, always grieve for you, Mommy has just found different ways of grieving and honoring you besides writing. It's kinda similar anyway to when babies are alive and being raised... Mommies usually say how many months old they are, but once they get near 2 years, some mommies don't count it in months anymore. So really that just means to Mommy, that I don't grieve you any more on the 30th of the month than I do every other day of the month. So I probably won't be writing specifically to you on the 30th anymore. But I will still write to you sometimes. Keep listening for Mommy's songs and thoughts and prayers for you every day though! Mommy loves you so much, and Daddy too. We wish you were here with us enjoying our summer. And it is so very hard to plan your birthday celebration without you. Would you want pink princesses? Or puppies? Or Sesame Street? Hello Kitty? Or maybe owls and birdies? I wish I knew what all your likes and favorites were, so I could plan your party around it. I wish I got to know you more than as just a newborn baby. Are you a newborn baby still, forever and ever, or are you 23 months old now? To me, you'll always be my perfect little newborn, though I imagine and long for the 2 year old you, too. You are still my baby! Kisses to the sky forever my love.. sleep tight and wait for me.

Love,
Mommy

Oh one more thing! Mommy forgot to ask if you got the balloons we sent you last week! We sent up pink balloons with little butterfly notes for you. We were with the other Compassionate Friends Mommies and Daddies sending balloons to all of our angels. Your little friend Kylie and her Mommmy and brother were there too and sent balloons. You are so very loved by so many. I hope you gave the red balloon to Cherry Sissy!

Miss you always. You are still my baby!

Love you forever,
Mommy

so much in May

Hi Baby girl!

So much has happened this month that has made me miss you. Well, I miss you every minute! But it just feels like extra things have happened that make Mommy and Daddy long for you even more. On Mother's Day, Baby Glory wore one of your dresses.. she looked so sweet. Mommy wishes you could have worn it first. I know you would have looked beautiful too! She also wore her "little sister" bib to honor you. You are always part of our family and Mommy slips you in, in great ways and in small! I hope you have pretty dresses where you are, too. I know you must... but just remember, Mommy doesn't understand what it's like where you are.

The day before Mother's Day, Mommy and Daddy and Glory went to the Strawberry Festival! It was such a beautiful, warm and breezy day. We were sitting amongst all these cute little families and everyone that passed us by said how cute Glory is. Mommy and Daddy wanted to tell all of those people about our first baby, too. We wished you were there dancing around to the music like the other toddlers. You would have been our little busy girl! Wanting to walk and be free and mobile like toddlers do. Mommy got a special necklace that day with a "K" and a "G"... to honor both my sweet precious baby girls.

Mommy was also missing Granddaddy this month. The day he died passed us by, May 15, and coming up is May 26, his birthday. Please give him extra special kisses this month, for me and for Gram! She misses him so much. We all miss you and him every minute, but May is especially Granddaddy's month.

There was a very silly man here on earth who said that on last Saturday, everyone who believes in Jesus was going to go home to heaven. This isn't what the bible says. The bible says no one knows when it will happen. So Mommy and Daddy didn't believe what this silly man was saying. But of course anyway Mommy was thinking that if that happened, I would get to see my baby girl! I was smiling thinking how Mommy, Daddy, Glory and Kathlyn would all be together and we would be in one big forever hug in heaven with Jesus and everyone who loves Him! Mommy prays for you every day, sweet girl. I am so glad you are safe where you are, but I still wish you were here. Someday we will all be together again where you are. Until then, I will miss you every minute. You are still my baby. My first little daughter. Kisses to the sky for you my angel. Sleep tight and wait for me.

Love you forever,
Mommy

21 months

Dear Kathlyn,
Mommy loves you! I miss you so much baby girl. 21 months without you sounds so long. Today we did something very special for you.. the March of Dimes walk! We did this last year too. This year your baby sister was with us. We had special pink puppy shirts for you.



Missing you always, my baby girl. You are still my baby.

Love you forever,

Mommy

Just wanted to say I miss you. My heart aches when I think about you and all the other babies who died before their Mommies and Daddies got to know them. It's such a sad, sad world. I have to rest in knowing that it's beautiful and happy and safe where you are. Remember, Mommy doesn't understand what it's like there. Is it beautiful, baby girl?? I hope it is.. with lots of pink and roses and clouds and rainbows and candy and toys... all for my baby. I miss you so much. I wanna pick you up and throw you in the air and spin you around so you laugh. You'd be big enough for that now. I'd laugh with you. And Daddy too. He would just love playing with you like that. It would have been so wonderful.

I love you Kathlyn Joy. You are still my baby.

Love and miss you forever,
Mommy